No need to be shy about it, lay it all out on the table. It’s important to disclose ALL debt and previous financial issues prior to marriage. Don’t discount someone immediately because they’ve had some money problems. Do remember that once married yours is mine, so their debt will be yours and vice versa. No worries, as a team you can pay it off faster. The important thing is their mindset about debt and money management.. see #4
2. Who Will Handle the Finances?
Determine who is better at managing the money, if neither of you. Get outside advice and learn how to do it successfully. Many people have never balanced a checkbook until they’ve gotten married. That’s okay.
Honor one another by talking before making major financial decisions
3. Do You Share Financial Goals?
If your idea of financial freedom is having money in the bank and your future mate's idea is to go on lavish vacations each year, there will be conflict. Which is why it is so important to have money conversations. On a separate sheet of paper, each of you list your top 5 - 10 financial goals. Then list how you will achieve them. Swap lists, share your ideas, decide which are most important and create a new list that you both agree on.
4. Behavior Patterns With Money?
Do watch your potential mates spending habits and have financial conversations to learn what they think about money, saving, their financial future. Do they shop when they are upset, only to regret it later? Do they make large purchases without discussing it? Are their household bills paid on time and are they continuing to run up more and more debt? This behavior should definitely be curbed before anyone says I DO!
Teamwork is the key. You should work together, say it with me, TOGETHER. If one person handles the balancing, etc., at least have a discussion, without distractions, each pay about the finances, where the money is going and how close you are to reaching your goals.
5. Become Financially Savvy!
No, you won't be the next Financial Guru, but you must educate yourself when it comes to your personal finances. Read financial magazines, books etc. together. Attend financial seminars. All of the information won’t apply to you, take what does, and put it to action. If you are better with money, it is important not to be condescending to your partner. You won’t accomplish anything, except for hurt feelings and further defiance.
Excellent Books for Couples:
Get Financially Naked: How to Talk Money with Your Honey - Manisha Thakor
Zero Debt: The Ultimate Guide to Financial Freedom 2nd Edition - Lynette Khalfani
The Total Money Makeover: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness - Dave Ramsey
Stop Acting Rich: ...And Start Living Like A Real Millionaire - Thomas J. Stanley
Your Financial Coach
~Dorethia
http://www.connercoaching.com/
dorethia@connercoaching.com
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