Buppie Yuppie Busy-ness!!

It’s cool to be busy, swamped…so busy that you only have a moment here to say this or a few minutes to meet ..it’s cool because it makes you feel important…like you have so much going on…and maybe you do, but those around you shouldn't feel rushed through your conversation, lunch, dinner, basketball game - you get the point.

In the midst of all this busy-ness, you miss quality time with quality people....while you are attempting to connect with the ‘right’ folks, attend the ‘right’ meeting.

Not to mention, when you are always soooo busy, quality people no longer desire to be around you, you give off an anxious, hectic, vibe. Never settled, never comfortable, just running and rushing around all the time….when the truth of the matter is that balanced people find time for friendships, dinners out with family, time to make new acquaintances, and business networks…without saying…"I’ve only got a few minutes", "you know I’m so busy I’ve got to go". No one wants to hang around you because they don’t feel important enough for a slice of your time. A slice where you are relaxed, not looking at your watch or worse ANSWERING YOUR CELL PHONE! My next post will be about cell phone etiquette at lunch, dinner, standing in line at the grocery store! (I am guilty too).

We are all ambitious, driven, high achievers – regardless of age. But what matters is the quality of your relationships, whether business or personal. When you give off that hectic vibe, you are telling the person you are with that time with them does not matter, you’re not focused on what they are talking about or enjoying thier company.

It doesn’t matter if it is a business acquaintance, family member or friend. Everyone wants to feel as if their presence is important when you are around them.

We are all so concerned with being upwardly mobile, on this committee, on that board, going to this meeting, this event, working long hours….some of us bask in it, as if it says "Hey I’m about something, Hey I’m doing something"…..and you are….kudos to you….hard work pays off, being in the know does too….but what do you know about those closest too you …as you zoom here and there….what about new people you meet and you swear ‘we’ve got to get together’? But never do or you try to squeeze them in between this or that - at the last minute to boot. In all this buppie yuppie busy-ness we need to settle down, calm down and enjoy the moment as well as enjoying the people we come across.

True networking is about building genuine relationships, leaving others feeling good after meeting with you...and that's impossible to do when you're too busy.

Dorethia Conner Coaching: Smilin' For the Camera

Dorethia Conner Coaching: Smilin' For the Camera

Christmas in July!

No I am not announcing a huge SALE! And I know it is the middle of summer and no one is thinking about Christmas, but now is the perfect time to do so!! Early planning can save you a world of stress as the holiday season approaches.

Thanks to a good friend, a light came on in my head one Christmas many many moons ago. Many people don’t pay their November/December bills to buy Christmas gifts or they will go into debt buying gifts on credit for people when they are barely buying groceries. This is crazy.

I was someone who seemed to never have enough money throughout the year, but found money during Christmas time for gifts. I have two big families with a lot of kids and a Secret Santa drawing for adults. I never charged Christmas gifts, but I did put off paying December’s bills - to my detriment later of course.

My friend, Temeka and I were talking one year during the holiday and when she saw all the money I spent on Christmas she was shocked. At the time, we were both single moms and she knew I couldn’t afford it. Temeka told me she asked her daughter what was one thing she wanted more than anything else and that is what she bought her. Temeka, her sister, and her mom had an understanding; they didn’t exchange gifts at all, no hard feelings, just love. The family came together for dinner and that was that. No pressure, no debt, just a nice Christmas.

I was hesitant at first. I thought people would be upset because they bought my kids gifts and I didn’t buy for theirs etc., etc. But I tried it that first year anyway. I bought my kids one big gift and a couple of small things, I bought for my mom and I did do the Secret Santa’s for both families, but that was it!! My bills were paid - it was freedom!!! No one disowned me, everyone understood and still bought things for my kids.

Now, I know everyone’s family is not as understanding, caring, loving, and wonderful as mine :-)). This has caused major riffs in some families - I've heard the stories. This shows you how much they value the true reason for the season. But we must do what is best for our families financially and not try to please everyone else. If you can afford to buy gifts for everyone – wonderful – do it. This isn’t a mantra against giving or Christmas. But when people are in debt and can’t pay their bills, buying gifts isn’t even on the priority list.

TIP: Now is the perfect time to begin saving for Christmas gifts or to start picking them up one by one - my aunt does this and is done with her shopping by October!

Disclaimer!!: You always have the one person who is a bit on the extreme side soo....I DO NOT suggest not buying your own children Christmas gifts, but you may be able to scale it down a little bit by buying the items that they want most. You could also begin family traditions that will last longer than the gifts ever will.

Lead Foot Anonymous....

Hello Everyone, my name 'Speed Racer' and I have a lead foot.

EVERYONE: HELLO SPEEDRACER!

Host: When did this all begin Speed Racer?

SR: Well, I don't know exactly. I don't mean to drive too fast - except for maybe when I'm in a hurry.

Host: How often are you in a hurry?

SR: All the time I guess. But there are times when I'm just daydreaming or listening to a really goood song and I step on the gas unaware of my speed.

Host: And what impact does this have on your life Ms. Speed Racer.

SR: Well, I've spent quite a bit of money paying tickets......

Host: Exactly how much?

SR: Let's just say I could have gone to Europe twice.

EVERYONE: OOOHHH NOOOOO!!

SR: My car insurance is also extremely high because of the tickets.

EVERYONE: OOOH NOOOOO!!

Host: Well, I'd say it's time for a change, wouldn't you?

SR: I believe it is. What do you thing I should do???????

EVERYONE: STOP DRIVING SO DANG ON FAST, OBEY THE SPEED LIMIT -- DUH!!!

Traffic tickets waste a lot of time and money. Both of which could be better used in many other areas of my ...um..I mean...our lives.....it is financially prudent to follow the rules so we can keep our money in our pockets where it belongs!

Obvious Gems

I went to a local restaurant to catch up with an old friend I hadn’t seen in about 3 years. It is a common hang out/meet-up spot in downtown Detroit that I’ve frequented a million times. As we were walking out my friend led me in a different direction and I was surprised to see there was a whole other side with more seating, bar and band that I NEVER knew was there. I asked if it was new and with a chuckle my friend said UH.. NO! It was funny because I’m a known downtown dweller, lover of most things Detroit.

There are a lot of new spots downtown that I could get a pass on not knowing about, but a place that has been in Detroit for as long as I have? – we both arrived in ’89 - no way! I couldn’t believe that after all these years of dinners and letsgettogethers, I didn’t know about the OTHER SIDE. No, I will not tell you the restaurant in order to spare myself from an onslaught of Dorethia, areyoukiddingme emails and jokes. I’ve already given you a hint anyway. I would like to keep my Detroiter Card in tact thank you very much!

I was thinking about how many times we miss out on an experience because we are used to doing things a certain way or taking a certain route. Oftentimes it’s unconsciously. I always came in and went to the bar or to tables in the direction I was used to. Life is the same way sometimes, things are right in front of us and instead of taking a moment to check it out, we step over it or ignore it to go in the direction that is familiar or safe to us. It would truly be a great benefit to be a little more attentive to our surroundings, the people in our lives, the experiences available to us - we may find a gem we passed over the first time (or a million times) around.

-Dorethia

Real Talk...

Hey Dee -

With the economy being what it is, what suggestion do you have for an individual who every blue moon is able to take a breathe due to my head being above water, but it seems that as I get closer to the door of prosperity the futher away it seems. It reminds me of that scene in Poltergist when the mother goes to check on her children and the faster she ran to the door of thier bedroom the further away the door was.

Due to my past I understand that who I am, is a direct result of who I was. I commend you and all your efforts to inform people so that they can take care of themselves. If at any step in your plight to enlighten I can assist you with a bit of REAL TALK - you let me know.

Get at Ya Mans,

-Roy

Paying The Price....

So, you've made some big financial mistakes? I’ve made some whoppers. We’ve all made some here or there. It's not the end of the world even though it seems that way when we're in the thick of it.

Okay, still a little down? I’ll give you one story for a good laugh at my expense....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Years ago a very charming lady knocked on my door with a super duper wonderful vacuum cleaner that floated on air and walked on water. It sucked up microscopic dirt out of carpet, mattresses, there was an attachment to blow up balloons and it even vacuum under the refrigerator. Ooooh Weee! All for the low, low price of $2,200 big ones! Are you serious? No thank you, pack it up, unless it will pay this mortgage too! A single mom, going to school, on a limited income, I certainly couldn't afford it. Plus, I didn't have any carpet!

Well then, Miss Charming says, hey you get yours free if you sell twenty in 90 days AND it will only take you a few hours a week to sell. I fell for it. I am a good salesperson, or so I thought, and 90 days is a long time to sell twenty of them. Mind you I had to finance mine first and only had 3 days from signing the paperwork to change my mind.

On the second day I called to return it - the thing was so cumbersome that you longed for a regular upright vacuum regardless of how much dirt and dust it blew back into the air. No, No, No – you need it – we’ll even throw in the super duper mopping attachment for free that is worth another $500. Call me sucker, because that’s what I was! I kept the vac and resolved to trying to sell twenty so I didn't have to pay for mine. DUMB DA DUMB DUMB DUMB.

Well I went on one appointment, to try to sell it, then I felt guilty – no one I knew could afford a $2,200 vacuum cleaner. Now, what kind of person am I if I try to sell it to them knowing this? Not to mention, to be a success at anything takes way more than just a few hours a week.

I struggled like crazy to pay it off, I was already overextended and couldn't squeeze $5 more dollars out of my budget let alone a monthly payment on a monster vac.

Did I mention that I have absolutely nooo carpet in my home? Hey, I hear you laughing!! In my defense, it had a hardwood floor sweeper thingee…um…that was useless....

Needless to say, salesmen cannot come to my door with the latest gadget and I don’t borrow for anything anymore. Praise God – the light has come.

So if you have goofed up with money and debt, it’s not the end of the world. Your problems may be bigger than a vacuum, but there's always hope. We always get a DO OVER. Yeah, you may have a mess to clean up, that's alright -begin again!

Read, listen to, devour, all the information you can about budgeting, paying your bills, saving money, planning for your future and staying out of debt. All of it won’t be good advice for you – so eat the hay and spit the sticks, but at least get on the road to changing your situation!

As for the super-duper vac? A girlfriend of mine has had it for quite some time now and I may get it back – if I ever buy carpet.

The Big Question!!!!

Okay, I've had several people ask me what I'm doing with my rebate check. When I respond that I'm paying off a bill - They exclaim NOOO! DO SOMETHING FOR YOURSELF!!!!

You know, go on a nice vacation, go shopping, update your t.v. girl, 'cause.. um.. you only have one and it is not a flat screen. The bills will always be there....

Well, one less bill to pay is something for myself, freeing up some money every month and getting even closer to being completely and totally debt free IS SOMETHING FOR MYSELF!!!

The way things are going we will all to have to use our rebates as emergency funds for gas, milk and eggs anyway!

Not Your Thing?

A lot of people tell me, Dorethia, I like what you’re teaching, but budgeting, balancing, etc. – all that is not my ‘thing’. I ask them if MONEY is their thing? We all like money and we all want some more.

The truth is you are not going to accumulate much money LATER if you don’t develop a few simple habits NOW. If you don’t decide to budget each pay, have a plan for saving and spending, and balance your checkbook while you are making $12/hour – money will slip through your hands when you’re making $100/hr. What will happen when a big contract or other opportunity comes your way down the line? The fruits will be spoiled because you haven’t developed any discipline when it comes to your personal finances.

We all know people who work everyday, make decent money, have minimal bills and are always broke. Why? Spending without a plan or an account of where it went. In every area of our lives we must do what it takes to be successful - spiritual, family, career, relationships, and MONEY. Diligent money management allows us to:

a. Have Some
b. Give Some
c. Preserve Some

So, go forth and make budgeting, balancing and banking your 'thing'!

Get Back On the Horse!

Even for the most astute, money management can be a task. You’ve got a million things going on, you forget to pay this bill or log that trip to the ATM … and we all know it only takes one transaction to throw your account off. Who of us hasn’t experienced that dreadful moment when we realize that because of a simple error, we now have to pay overdraft fees the equivalent of a car note!

For some of us the error isn’t so simple, it is clearly poor management. We don’t know what’s in our account, we are spending and letting the chips fall where they may, crossing our fingers in line at Target, praying it ‘goes through’.

Whatever the case - when you fall off the horse, get back on it! Don't beat yourself up, just shake it off, saddle up and keep on moving.

I remember an episode from 'Everybody Loves Raymond' where Ray and his wife were arguing about money and of course he insisted he could do a better job so she told him to take it over. He botched it up horribly and then went through great pains to create a 'fake' checkbook so she wouldn't know. It was hilarious! Well the electricity ended up disconnected and of course his wife was furious. If he had put the same energy into correctly managing the finances as he did in creating the fake checkbook, his lights would have still been on! ha ha

Even as you become an expert at managing your own money, you may make mistakes...we're human. Start over if you have to, redo that page in the checkbook --- just make sure you have the correct amounts!

Mayor Kilpatrick - Do the Math...

Detroit politics have left me exhausted! Truly, every day it is something different. I am saddened as the nation watches what is going on in our city and wonder as many of us do - what is going on?

I voted for Mayor Kilpatrick the first term, I was a staunch supporter. A great orator, his charisma and knowledge in the political and business arena made him the best candidate in my eyes. I dismissed early rumblings as folks just not liking him, trying to look for something negative. But after the first 2 years - I was done. There was just too much even then. I was disappointed and still am because the Mayor has a wealth of talents that he seems to be squandering. He had an opportunity to seal his future in politics or whatever career path he chose.

Anyway - on to the math.....

I can't ALMOST lose 26 million in much needed (or not needed for that matter) funds and KEEP MY JOB.

I can't be behind 2-3 years in financial reports and KEEP MY JOB.

I can't cause my company to be sued for 8.4 million dollars and KEEP MY JOB.

I can't lose a major conference/client deal (Mayors Conference) that would bring big money to the company and KEEP MY JOB

I definitely can't publicly smear the company image and goodwill in the community and among businesses and KEEP MY JOB.

Granted, I'm not the mayor of a major metropolitan city, but you get the point.

The mayor and his mom and his pastor have called for us to pray for him and his family. I'm a praying woman - consider that done - but I want the mayor and his family and advisors to pray as well and truly ask if it isn't time to call it quits.

What has Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick Done for Detroit?

In order to be fair - I did find this list from a poster of good things Kwame has done in the city. I cannot confirm nor deny any of it and if anyone has any info please share. I can say that there have been new housing starts and our downtown looks better than ever thanks to him. Read on...

Balanced Detroits budget to avoid receivership

Organized the Transformation Growth Comittee - which is a big reason why Detroit has had so much revitalization downtown.

Organized the Office of Neighborhood Commercial Revitalization- which is working on the improvement of 8 detroit areas including improvement on lighting, streetscaping, and facade.

Detroit 12 yr tax abatement- which gives Detroit residences a break on their taxes for the first 12 yrs. This has really pushed the property sales in Detroit. -(This is a little misleading, it only applies to wealthy residents in certain neighborhoods, namely closer to downtown - the everyday person in Detroit doesn't benefit)

Is Your Company an LLC? MEET WITH YOURSELF!

Hey!! Here's an interesting tip that I didn't know........

If you are an LLC you must, must, must make sure that you separate your personal from the business!! Uh, Duh Dorethia we knew that!! .....Okay....you knew you had to have an Operating Agreement and a separate bank account....but did you know that even if you have a single member LLC you also had to have regular meetings.....WITH YOURSELF!! Yes, with yourself. These meetings must be on the calendar, scheduled and you must outline what you 'discussed'.

I was at a thing, talking to a guy and he was telling me about 2 cases in which the LLC owners were personally held liable in lawsuits based on this one criteria. I believe they were in the Metro Detroit area, can't remember but I will try to find the cases soon to post as well.

In all the research you do, you will probably never find this little tid bit of info....well at least I didn't...anyway...get to scheduling those meetings...WITH YOURSELF!! Mine starts in about 20 minutes....ha ha.

$ Money Q & A

Got questions? I've Got Answers! Post your question here.

No More Dreams Deferred!

Have you ever had one of those work weeks that makes you question your ability? Where you question who you are and what you’re doing? When you’ve got to dig deep to remind yourself that you’re a contender, a champ, you've dealt with worse in your career and come out on top?

I’m having that week…I’m digging deep….and of course it always works out in the end with the experience only encouraging us to move with lightening speed toward completely living our dreams…

A talk show host once attributed the time it takes people to fulfill their entrepreneurial dreams to fear and laziness. I’ll say that for some this may be the case, but for the most part I believe it is just our everyday lives. You go to work, you go to school, take care of your families…and before you know it - years have passed by and you couldn’t find time to sit down and plan for that business or new career or to go back to school.

Life happens and this or that distracts you from your goal….. I would also say money stops a lot of us too. Money is a huge factor in funding writing projects, career changes, or business ideas without going so deep in debt you can't climb out…

Which is why it is important to have your financial house in order so you can set some money aside to start your business or take a certification course or start a new career - without having to worry about a cut in pay.

Well no more dreams deferred, it’s going down!….NOW!….This is the year, now is the time!...Let's make it happen! I don't care if you only set aside a little money each pay....it's a start.... a few hours each week...it's a start.

So, what's next for you?

What is YOUR Economic Stimulus Plan?

For the past month or so there's been announcements about President Bush's Economic Stimulus Plan. The plan encompasses tax rebates for individuals and families as well as incentives for businesses to invest.

I will not rant and rave in this post (maybe in another) about the fact that maybe this money could be put toward our deficit or that if the government practiced better money management and stopped spending when there was no more money or was proactive instead of reactive when his mortgage mess was inevitable to anyone seeing and hearing all these 'creative' financing techniques.....(whew..breath)..... we wouldn't be having this problem...yada yada ya...and yes I'm aware there are many complicated facets to American economy. Also, I will unashamedly take my check once it arrives, whether I think this is the best plan or not!!! $-)

ANYWAY....I ENCOURAGE YOU to create your own economic stimulus plan! Bush wants us to get our income tax refunds and these additional rebate checks and SPEND, SPEND, SPEND. Help the economy!!! I say help your household's economy! Because at the end of the day we will be responsible for our own financial well being - not any government official.


Fellas, I know you love your cars, your gear, your tools, ...Ladies, your shoes, purses, furniture, etc...but let's pump the brakes and think long term. Determine to stay away from the mall or wherever your spending weakness lies. I know, I know - there are all kinds of wonderful things to buy...I personally have my eye on a lovely coach purse...but NO I will refrain!!

Why not use both of these checks to give yourself a leg up?:

Pay off a bill:
Get caught up on household bills or get closer to being debt free by applying this lump sum toward your debts? (You know that smallest to largest debt list, pay off smallest first?)

Save:
Yes, save! Think long-term, this money could begin your emergency fund or add to it.

No bills? Your Savings Tight?:
Invest it in a mutual fund - look for growth, balanced, global or aggressive growth funds, do your homework first.

OKAY..... TIMEOUT, YOU MEAN I CAN'T SPEND ANYTHING?!!!

No, I always believe in treating yourself. Even if you are knee deep in debt, go to a movie or buy something small. The goal is not to restrict yourself to no end, but it is to help you make smarter financial decisions so you can see the day when you receive a lump sum and you don't HAVE to spend it on a necessity because the necessities are covered.

See blog from Jan. 23rd 'Tired of Living Check to Check'

Tax Rebate: How Much Will You Get?

Hey folks, here's a pretty good breakdown of who will get what when the tax rebate checks are distributed this May. Found this on www.msnbc.com

• An individual with $2,500 in earned income in 2007: Disqualified because income fell below the $3,000 threshold. No rebate.

• A married couple with no children, with adjusted gross income of $100,000 in 2007: Would qualify for the full $1,200 couples. A $1,200 rebate.

• A worker with one child, who earned $9,000 and owed no taxes in 2007: Would qualify for the $300 rebate available to individuals who pay no taxes but earned at least $3,000, plus an additional $300 for the child. A $600 rebate.

• A couple with income of $145,000 in 2007, with three children: Would qualify for the full $1,200 for couples, plus $300 for each child. A $2,100 rebate.

• A couple with income of $160,000 in 2007 with two children: Would qualify for a partial rebate, reduced by 5 percent for every $1,000 in income above the $150,000 threshold. An $1,800 rebate — $1,200 for the couple plus $300 per child — would go down by 50 percent for this family. A $900 rebate.

• A couple with income of $200,000 and four children: Disqualified because their income exceeded $174,000, the phase-out limit. No rebate.

• An individual with adjusted gross income of $23,000 and no dependents: Would get a rebate of $600.

• A couple with adjusted gross income of $160,000 and two children: Would get a rebate of $1,300.

• A couple with adjusted gross income of $184,000 and two children: Would get a $100 rebate.

.....This Mortgage... Cont'd

I’m Ready to Rent.......

If you can’t afford to keep your home, the next logical thing is to sell it. In light of the economy this may take a while, but here are some other options to ask your mortgage company about as well:


Short Sale: This option is available if you can’t sell the home for the amount you owe on it. Your mortgage company may accept less than the amount owed. Financial help may also be available to pay other lien holders and/or help towards some moving costs. You may qualify if:

1. The loan is at least 2 months delinquent
2. You (or your real estate professional) can sell the house within 3 to 5 months
3. A new appraisal (obtained by your lender) shows that the value of your home meets HUD program guidelines

Assumption: A qualified buyer may be allowed to take over your mortgage, even if your original loan documents state that it is non-assumable.

Deed-in-lieu of Foreclosure: As a last resort, you "give back" your property and the debt is forgiven. This will not save your house, but it is less damaging to your credit rating. This option might sound like the easiest way out, but it has limitations:

*You usually have to try to sell the home for its fair market value for at least 90 days before the lender will consider this option

*This option may not be available if you have other liens, such as other creditor judgments, second mortgages, and IRS or state tax liens

ARGHHH!! This Mortgage is Killing Me!!!

No need for a long outline of what is happening in the housing market of America, it is all over the news. If you are having trouble paying your mortgage, facing foreclosure or can just no longer keep your home, read on….

I Want to Keep My House:

First, make sure you can afford to make payments. I know it may be difficult to face the music, but you can’t let emotional ties, sentiment or image stop you from letting it go.

Ask yourself a few questions: Can I continue to maintain this house? After a restructure agreement is made, is the payment over 25% - 28% of my monthly take home? If the answer is yes and no respectively keep reading.

As soon as you are unable to pay your mortgage call your mortgage company. They will work with you. Your options to keep your home are most effective when you are only one or two payments behind. But if you are further along, there’s not time like the present to make the call.

Ask about these options:

Forbearance an agreement to let you pay less than the full amount of your mortgage payment during your forbearance period. Mortgage companies may consider forbearance when you can show funds will let you bring your mortgage current at a specific time in the future.

Reinstatement occurs when you pay your mortgage company the total amount you are behind, in a lump sum, by a specific date.

Repayment Plan is an agreement that gives you a fixed amount of time to repay the amount you are behind by combining a portion of what is due with your regular payment.

Loan Modification is a written agreement between you and your mortgage company that permanently changes one or more of the original terms of your note.


Resources:

www.fanniemae.com

www.hud.gov or 800-569-4287

Contact to find a Non-Profit Housing agency in your state. They can assist you by analyzing your financial situation or by helping you organize a budget to pay your mortgage and other monthly expenses.

In Michigan: www.michigan.gov/mshda - Save the Dream Program Counselors and resources, such as lower interest rates, to help residents save their homes.

Smilin' For the Camera

Tired of Living Check to Check?

We’ve all heard it - spend less than you earn, live debt free. But, how?

Years ago this question always befuddled me. As I was barraged with financial experts who had great ideas that mostly involved some form of credit, or investing money I didn’t have to spare. Saving money was a short mention and why worry when you can borrow your way out of any situation or into the latest greatest vacation, home, car, or whatever else you fancy?

Well here’s some practical advice for those of us who are tired of living check to check and in debt:

#1 Make a Decision

Decide to change the way you handle your money. Get rid of your credit cards, do not obtain any new debt and put your spending on paper - thus…..

#2 Budget - Yes - Just Do It!!

Develop a realistic budget – Each pay write down every single cent you plan to spend - from your weekly hair cut to your monthly bills. This is where the rubber meets the road. Don’t get discouraged by what you see, if you keep at it the outlook will get better.

#3 Save for Emergencies

It is important to begin to save at least $1,000 for the unexpected. Start slow; add all the extra that you can to this fund.

#4 Get Out of Debt

Once you have your initial emergency fund, begin to pay extra on your debts to eliminate them. List them smallest to largest and knock them out one by one. Give yourself a small reward after each one.. key word..'small'..think movies..not macy's.

Remember it’s not the amount of money you have, but the way you manage it!

-Dorethia

...livin' life on purpose